Life seeps through my hands so fast that it is at times, unbelievable. One moment I am home, free from responsibilities of life and the real world. Safe from the troubles and hardships that are faced by millions if not billions of people on a day to day basis. I am still young, yet I feel so old. The feeling of responsibilities and consequences for my actions, just a glimpse away in the future. Sometimes it can be so overwhelming that I just want to hide away from responsibilities. Deadlines, objectives, learning, housework: would it not be great to have a sanctuary free from said responsibilities. A hideout immune to the outside world. An escape from reality and its hardships, I know I do.
My hideout from the world is to go to a completely different world. A world in which anything is possible. A world where you are free from consequences for your decisions and actions. A world made for entertainment and entertainment alone. I am talking about nothing other than the world of gaming. It all started when I was just a child. I had experienced the taste of interactive entertainment. The feeling of entering a completely different world, with contrasting rules and objectives. I had found my passion and my hobby and throughout the years I have enjoyed every single moment I had spent on it. However, for the past couple of years, my feeling towards this passion has changed very drastically.
When I was but a teenager, I believed that I would never grow too old for games. I would make time to play the latest and the greatest at all cost. It will remain my passion till the very end. Dolefully, I must say it has changed. For the past couple of years, for whatever the reason, I have distanced myself from gaming as a whole. At one point in my life, I would have bought my favorite titles without missing a beat. And now I wait several months before I pick up a new game. Those games that had more than 200 plus hours of game-play were the best. Yet these days I cannot even finish an hours worth of game-play in one sitting. I stop playing as soon as I start, leading me to think about the reasons as to why.
I have thought about this long and hard, and I have come to a conclusion. For me gaming had started as a form of entertainment. It had me spending the better part of my time during those years, loving the the worlds and adventures that I have explored. But as I grew older, the hold reality has on me began to fasten. With time, due to these restrictions, I found myself spending less and less time on gaming. Even when I would try to make space for my passion, life would find a way to interfere.
Now, rather than being a passion, it has become a form of a hideout. I can only spend a couple of hours on it before life finds a way to drag me back into the real world. I wonder if things would change even more as time goes by. Will I lose my passion for gaming in the future? Would I become another person claimed by the boredom of life and its responsibilities? What would take the position of my love for gaming? If my passions could change so drastically, does it mean that my likes and dislikes could also change in the future? All questions of uncertainty…
Yet I dream. Like my younger self, I hope to keep the passion alive as long as I can, though I may not spend as much time as I had before, I remain excited. Though life has its ups and downs, I hope to stay true to myself. And if that means that I may change as a person, then so be it. Life just seeps through so quickly does it not? There is no moment to second guess. Live in this moment and enjoying what it is (even though it may be bad)is what life is all about.
“When I was fifteen, all I wanted was to go off to some other world, a place beyond anybody’s reach. A place beyond the flow of time.”
– But there’s no place like that in this world.
– Exactly. Which is why I’m living here, in this world where things are continually damaged, where the heart is fickle, where time flows past without a break.”
― Haruki Murakami,
via Daily Prompt: Hideout